I miss you all.
Not that most of you are likely to ever read this.
I still miss you, though.
I've been thinking, as usual, and I thought that maybe it's time for me to realize how much of a addict I am.
Oh, the irony.
As a member of a association for people that dissosiates themselves from alcohols and other drugs, I am struggling hard with an addiction. Some people consider it a drug, most people however, does not. You can buy it practically everywhere, legally of course.
It's sugar. Just good old sugar.
It might not sound like a big deal, but it really is. For me, it defenitely classifies as a drug. It might not be toxic, but most people would agree that it's not healthy. I'm happiest whenever I'm eating something sugary and the time in between I'm either off restocking my "supplies" or planning on how or when to do so.
Every night, I promise myself that tomorrow's gonna be different, but every morning I wake up with no reistance what so ever.
What this all basically does is taking focus from things that are actually important in life. I'm left with considerably little time to do anything, besides from feeding the addiction. It affects my motivation to do things, my social life and my economy.
I can't say I'm very proud of myself. Especially since I'm supposed to oppose drugs.
What a joke.
It began as a sort of self medication of my anxiety. It didn't feel as bad as taking any actual medicine, because it was just ordinary food. Or candy, really. But still. It was a really easy fall.
But every now and then I actually do put up some resistanse, but it haven't quite worked yet, since I then have to battle both the withrawal symptoms and the initial anxiety.
I don't know.
It's just giving me a hard time, that's all.
No comments:
Post a Comment