If not now, then when?

Once again that feeling of being too late. I had to write it, since I'm not in the mood to do actual talk with anyone and I really had to get it out of me. Express, is another word for it.

You know how humans tend to "take form" during their childhood? The ways of thinking, expressing and living.
I always thought that was to come later. I didn't have time for growing up, there were other obviously more important stuff to attend. Things such as school and following some kind of made up schedule on how to be a good boy.
Now, what I subconsciously learned was that any stuff that really mattered wasn't for me. Being with friends until really late, talking about stuff you can't really talk about and doing stuff you sort of couldn't do. I sort of begin to realize that as my younger sister is getting into all that sort of stuff. I guess it took some contrast to get the perspective. Oh well.

I would love to do all those crazy things I never did, but I begin to realize that maybe the time for those things are over. If that is the case, then I'm going to be really sad. I probably won't express myself by crying, mostly because it will probably all appear slowly over time.

I don't think I'm very sad at the moment, or perhaps I've just pushed the thoughts away, as it is. I can't really tell. For the sake of being positive, I'd say I'm just not very sad.

Is living on others experiences a bad thing? Like, if someone had a bad experience with something, should one listen to that and avoid doing the same thing? I know a few people who've built most of themselves out of own, personal experiences, and they're not necessarily happy, but they do at least seem quite alive and real. Could it be that I listened to much to others? I don't know. Because I've only got my own view of things.