Why!?

I'm feeling a bit weird. This is the first time I've been sitting in bright, actual sunlight when at the computer for a really long time! It was probably when I still attended IT-Gymnasiet. Good times, really.

I get psyched out pretty quickly when completely alone. I don't really know how to describe it, but I loose perspective on time and like... anything! It's just so damn weird!

It's like I feel good, but with the feeling that I shouldn't.

Anyways, since I got hungry and had some delicious dinner (black pudding...) I decided to finish this post later. Which would be now, then. Oh, and btw, I tried making some chocolate balls (is that how you actually say it?). And well, partially succeeded, but you know... one can't have everything, right?
Okay, I failed it, but I can't really tell why... I did everything right, with the right temperatures and amounts and in the right order and everything, but when I tried rolling them (balls of delisiousness) the "dough" was just too loose. It just wouldn't cooperate! So you know what? Fuck it, I ate it as it were. Like, a kilo. All by myself. I'm so lonely T_T

Jag skriver saker!

Jag är så ensam ibland. Så ensam att jag skriver på svenska när jag alltid brukar skriva på engelska. Så nu tänker jag döva mitt inre med att skriva upp det lilla som händer i mitt liv just nu, för att få lite perspektiv på det och kanske, om det är möjligt, känna att jag är aktiv och på väg rakt ut i den grymma verkligheten! Yeah!

BAM!
Körkort, that's a big one! Jag vaknar till en sen förmiddag, tar mig ut och kör några timmar, återvänder hem, äter middag, läser massa timmar och går och lägger mig! Yay...
Så... jag antar att jag lever som man gör i min ålder och livssituation? Ganska slött och "typ" på väg någonstans? Eller?

Så om två veckor, den 8:e och 10:e augusti kommer jag göra körtester, där teorin kommer vara i Uppsala, och själva körningen kommer vara i Hälsingland. Eftersom Uppsala är förjävla svårt att köra i, framförallt när ingen vill köra med en! Så Hälsingland, platsen dit Echodriving inte nått än... <_<

Så jag kör och läser teori, funderar på att läsa teori och låter bli till förmån för onödigt prokrastrinerande, skjuter upp ett småjobb jag fick i början av sommaren som ska vara klart till hösten, funderar på när jag ska hinna leta efter kurslitteratur och läser onödiga böcker så ofta jag kommer åt. Dessutom ägnar jag lite tid, lite för mycket rentav, åt att oroa mig inför framtiden och sörja att min barndom är över.



Nu ska jag diska efter frukosten, för jag är i stugan och då måste man diska. Efter frukosten, som var för sex timmar sedan. Så vi ses!
Herrå!

Silly thoughts

I wonder what I will feel when I look back on this part of my life when I've grown old(er). One thing I proably won't think back on if how crazy I was. Reason being, I never was that crazy.
Maybe it will be one of those things one remembers as tough, glad to have gone through, but not wanting to go through again?
I don't know.

And now, for something completely different ^^

When I notice two people I know, that for what I know don't know each other, comment each others statuses on facebook, I always feel strangely happy. As if it was because of me they got to know each other. Silly thoughts, really.

If not now, then when?

Once again that feeling of being too late. I had to write it, since I'm not in the mood to do actual talk with anyone and I really had to get it out of me. Express, is another word for it.

You know how humans tend to "take form" during their childhood? The ways of thinking, expressing and living.
I always thought that was to come later. I didn't have time for growing up, there were other obviously more important stuff to attend. Things such as school and following some kind of made up schedule on how to be a good boy.
Now, what I subconsciously learned was that any stuff that really mattered wasn't for me. Being with friends until really late, talking about stuff you can't really talk about and doing stuff you sort of couldn't do. I sort of begin to realize that as my younger sister is getting into all that sort of stuff. I guess it took some contrast to get the perspective. Oh well.

I would love to do all those crazy things I never did, but I begin to realize that maybe the time for those things are over. If that is the case, then I'm going to be really sad. I probably won't express myself by crying, mostly because it will probably all appear slowly over time.

I don't think I'm very sad at the moment, or perhaps I've just pushed the thoughts away, as it is. I can't really tell. For the sake of being positive, I'd say I'm just not very sad.

Is living on others experiences a bad thing? Like, if someone had a bad experience with something, should one listen to that and avoid doing the same thing? I know a few people who've built most of themselves out of own, personal experiences, and they're not necessarily happy, but they do at least seem quite alive and real. Could it be that I listened to much to others? I don't know. Because I've only got my own view of things.