Dreams are for alive people

I keep getting the feeling that people are only checking you in if you're creative, or "successful" with yourself if you will. That feeling when you can tell that someone is really living life. Not necessarily partying and doing all sorts of crazy stuff, but really going in for what they're doing and actually liking it. That kind of alive. 

As long as you're good to go, you'll get all the help you could ever want, but when you slip down it becomes much harder both to actually get real help and to get up there again. 

I usually start of with a somewhat good idea that I want to explain and get out of my head, but towards the end I use to get this feeling that I don't really know what I'm talking about. But then, who does? 

There is something I usually think and really would like to express but always seem to fail at getting out there. You see, I really love you for living. This might sound harsh or even creepy, but it's really the most comforting thing ever to know that at least the people that I know live a life worth living. I always use to think about them when I feel that my life is not worth living. It's calming.

So I just wanted to say thank you and that I actually love you. 

I just always feel pretty creepy about it. So I probably won't tell you in person.