Afterwards

I'd like to be narrator. To tell a story. I'd like to tell you about my life. That however, wouldn't be very exciting.

Have you ever felt that urge to get out? Like away and outdoors? Of course, the reason why I ask is so that I can tell you how much I, myself, have wanted that! I've been gathering stuff such as a tent, a really big bag to put the upcoming stuff in, a kerosene stove (I google'd it, can't be too sure that's the right word), clothes, a fleabag with an additional sleeping mat, canned food, first aid kit and bike bags.

Meanwhile, in my head, depression happened. So by the time I got ready, I really wasn't ready for anything anymore.
It's always sad when I dive into the dark, just like that. It's sad, because I used to have a lot of friends. But as time went on, I like drifted away people. Really, it makes me sad, because it was people with whom I had a lot in common and that I really liked to be with.
Every time these depressions occur I loose people. I remember them as they were and maybe even as they are, but I have nothing to do with them anymore.

Now with that said, I do have friends. For what I'm very lucky. These are people I've either just come to know, or those few who actually tried and stayed with me, even though I more or less pushed them away, when shit went down.

Thank you for your time, dear reader, and I hope I get to meet you yet another day!

Some time later...

Some weeks later, I sat down at my computer, thinking that it would be really nice to just take a brake from all those "must do" things and continue writing my story. You know, my life. That story.

The one week with physical activity (and strain!) in the year has passed! Yeah! Winter Break! :D

Wen't down the hills. Like a boss. 

I have these skis where you're supposed to turn as little as possible and just go for speed... so I went for speed. It's as easy to turn with them as with a full size truck! I mean, really? 12-15 meters? <_<

Aaaand, that was that!

Back in civilization again, with internet and nothingness! 

No, really... I can communicate with everyone in the whole world, but I don't have anything to say! Except of how I feel. And that won't make anyone happier <_<

I don't know what to do with my life. Should I end it? 

It started out so good! DAMN YOU!

Is it bad to feel perfectly fine about not having a proper job or occupation in general, just so you can get up late in the morning and read books in your bed? It just feels so good, like something I would like to do every day for the rest of my life! I love waking up with something to read.

So yeah, I really like having a lot of time in the morning. Waking up and getting ready is really tedious for me. And I like it, as long as I actually do have the time for it.
Usually, I spend three or four hours on getting up. Most of it is consumed by lazieness (which basically means a lot of reading, followed by a lot of being really slow, which leads to the shower in which I spend a lot of time, while not really figuring out a good breakfast so I just end up making lunch right away, but since I'm not very cheffy it takes some time, so by the time I'm done eating it's usually afternoon already).

Be glad I'm not reading this aloud for you, because

Never mind, got interrupted by a trespassing parent and I'm not in the mood for anything anymore. Hate.

Wow, really?!

I don't believe that anyone's reading this blogg, but I might as well write something, if only for my own comfort.
It's been a couple of different and for some aspects even healthy weeks, since I even thought of updating my blogg.

I got a job at a big restaurant, where I got to take care of the dishes. A scullion, I believe it's called. And it was the hardest work I've done for like ever. It was so stressful and noicy and there were all these scents from old food and detergents. In adition to all this, everything was blazing hot!

Anyways, that's what I've been doing for a little more than a week, but then of course, I got sick. Again. Sure, I guess the stress didn't really help, and I suppose I inhaled quite a lot of stuff that didn't belong to me, so perhaps it's no wonder.

What this mean are two things. One, I don't get to earn any more money for a while. And two, I sleep on good times again. But of course, I did that when I worked too. Had to get up at five in the morning, so I guess it was even better then. Oh well.

Now, I bid you a very good night ^^
Whoever that reads this <_<

Scored 100, needed 80, got 25...

General life update:

Got my sleep in order, finally, and I even got to work next monday! 

But yeah, my giant sleep disorderish thing has been really bad, lately, so I didn't sleep Sunday-Monday in order to reboot myself, sort of. Kinda worked too, I've actually been able to sleep and wake up at proper times. Lovely.

Somethings that however doesn't seem to work for me is the examination tests for the class in programming that I'm taking. Every time there is a question with several possible answers (and thus more than one potential point) I automaticly, no matter the score, get 0 points! What this means is that I cannot get a higher success-percentge  than 25! I need 80 to pass!!! And I get 100%, but something doesn't work properly! ARGH!

It's a course in programming, so one could think that they would have programmed the site well enough for it to work.

As for now... stuff. I must do it. And hand it in. So bye.

Restless

I've come to a decision. I need a change.
Tonight is dark, indeed. I cannot sleep. Must not.

Anxiety.

I have never before been awake more than 24 without severe fysical pain or external stimuli such as energy drinks, sugar or coffe. But I guess I had to do it some day. If I am correct, I can look forwatd to a day of headache, nausea, general anxiety, doubts and weariness. I don't think I'll be able to eat a whole lot.

Also, today happens to be that day where I start college. Not that there is anywhere to attend or anything, since we're supposed to study at home. I just don't think I'll be in a very good shape to do anything at all today.

Apart from studies, I'm also expected to spend the evening with some friends. Nice, but I doubt I'll be able to contribute much at all.

My family is starting to wake up, so I'd better get myself a good, long schower before anyone notices I haven't been to bed at all.

Time! Y U NOT WORK?

Half past six. Accelerating downhill.
I want to read a book and not having to think about anything at all. I want to do that and then sleep, when I get tired. Not for the rest of my life, just for tonight. The thing is that I have to get up in the morning now, since I do actually attend a class. Well, I don't really, since it's all done from your computer at home.

It does, however, give me permission to enter the otherwise closed activities in the student associations.

I'm really to tired to write anything particularly smart, or even interesting or funny. I just want my sleep patterns to be normal. It's not working out very well at all! I hate my life for this.
I need to get up in just a few hours. In fact, I was planning to be up at 0700, but that's in one and a half hour, so that's not gonna happen. Around twelve is more likely. Fuck me. Or my life, anyways.